NaruNaru Heartbreak?
by AuburnAbstraction
Summary: Just when Sasuke thought his day couldn't get worse, he gets thrown into a sappy video game about love-struck hamsters. Luckily, Hinata's in it too, and she knows what she's doing. Great. Just great. SasuHina
1. A New World

Second story, and this one's not a oneshot. Yaay! ahem 'Pologies that the first chapter's so short; I'll try and mae the next one longer XD

* * *

Sasuke groaned inwardly. "You should take a day off from training," Kakashi had said. "Even ninjas need breaks, you know?" 

What Kakashi didn't know was that Sasuke with a day off meant running at top speed for hours on end with a horde of crazed, hormonal females on his heels. Which was, of course, what ended up trapping him in his house, bored as heck and staring out the window in the hopes that the girls would give up and leave.

They didn't.

"Sasuke!"

"Sasuke-kun!"

Another groan of frustration. He buried his face in his arms. Why wouldn't those stupid fangirls go away! They would be the death of him, someday. And he was so, so _bored._ Deciding that perhaps if he was out of sight they would grow tired of waiting, Sasuke stomped over to his expansive bedroom and lay on the pristine white sheets of the bed. Presently he drifted off; sleepily he supposed running for your life takes a toll on one's stamina.

* * *

Sasuke had a strange-and-yet-interesting dream. He was at a festive fair of some type, with a sign above him carrying the obvious message "FUN LAND" in bright colors. There were others there, too, but they were not quite as he'd expect. They were short, stocky, and pastel-colored _hamsters_. I mean really. Since when did Sasuke dream about _hamsters_?Regardless, he soon noticed little hearts floating about the pair's heads and grimaced. There was, however, a _hamster_ that caught his interest. It was funnily dressed as if it were Halloween, and it went around with a little pitchfork, stabbing at the little floating hearts. The hamsters took _absolutely no notice_ of him and turned on one another, stomping off angrily. Sasuke snickered. This, however, caught the attention of the costumed hamster, and it ran towards him. Surprised, he stepped back, only to have the _hamster_ (he now noticed it looked suspiciously like Gaara) jump on him. Sasuke supposed the "wake up before you land" rule also went for "wake up before the crazy hamster stabs you with a pitchfork," because he suddenly snapped awake.

"Hey, Sasuke! What's wrong? You look pretty awful," came a voice Sasuke didn't recognize. He sat up, and his eyes settled on a rugged figure. It was short, stocky, and pastel colored…

"You! What the h- …Jiraiya?" He squinted. Yes, the _hamster_ (he must still be dreaming) in front of him resembled the toad sage Naruto had trained under before the Chunin exams. Said hamster looked at him quizzically.

"Err… yes, but how'd you know my middle name? I'm Boss, remember?"

Sasuke stared, then decided to go along with it. "Yes. Well. What do you want?"

"I need you to do a favor for me. Come downstairs and I'll tell you about it." The hamster left via the pink-carpeted stairs. Sasuke shrugged and jumped out of the bed. Deciding he'd had enough of this dream, he pinched himself. No effect. He looked down and saw he had claws.

And _fur._

Looking in a mirror, he saw he was short, stocky, and pastel-colored.

"AAAAAAAAAARGH!"


	2. Altruist Expedition

After a lengthy amount of time, Sasuke finally got used to (or, at least, to some degree) the fact that the hamster with the duck-butt hairdo in the mirror was him. He heaved a sigh, leaning his forehead against the glass of the mirror. He wondered why Ji-err- Boss hadn't come up to get him. He wondered why he had come here. He wondered why he was the only one aware of his hamster figure. He wondered why the carpet was pink. 

Grumbling gibberish he walked down the stairs, noticing he walked on two feet. He was pondering this when he tripped on what appeared to be a bar of soap (Honestly, who leaves _soap_ lying at the bottom of stairs?!) and landed in an undignified heap with his head stuck in a pail of water. Someone must have decided they didn't feel like taking a shower. In any case, he pulled the pail off and hurled across the room angrily, spraying water everywhere in the process.

"Oh, no, Sasuke! Your Ham-chat book! It's ruined!" Jiraiya/Boss pointed dramatically at a book Sasuke was stepping on. He looked down- sure enough, the ink had been smudged beyond recognition.

"So?" Sasuke retorted. "What the crap is a Ham-chat anyway?"

Jiraiya/Boss appeared to ignore him. "Well, what's done is done, I suppose. Come with me, I'll help you remember the four basic ones."

"Okay…" Sasuke dumbly followed the taller hamster into another room. This one looked like a dance studio…floor… thing. Jiraiya/Boss stopped in front of what appeared to be two lumps of soil, and then turned to him.

"Alright, first one." He did something Sasuke interpreted as a bad dance move. "Hamha!"

Sasuke stared. Jiraiya/Boss returned it.

"Well? Go on, try it."

_Oh god no._ "Why in the world can't I just say _hello?!_"

"Sasuke. Do it. You have to learn your Ham-chats again."

The poor raven-haired lad (hamster?) sighed in defeat, then half-heartedly did the awkward dance step.

"Ham…ha…"

"Okay, good! Now, the other three."

Sasuke groaned. 

* * *

"Now that you've learned the four Ham-chats," Jiraiya/Boss beamed, "You can go do the errand for me!"

"What is it, then?" Sasuke grumbled. "Hurry up."

"Well… I need you to find Bijou." The hamster blushed and Sasuke twitched irritably. "I-I…need to tell her something…I can't go look for her 'cause I have to stay here at the clubhouse and…work…So please! Go get her for me!"

The boy(hamster?) sighed. He pitied whoever this Bijou was, having Jiraiya(screw Boss) stalk her. Still, if he wanted to get out of here, it was probably a good idea to play the altruist and do whatever asked. He was practically shoved out the door by the excited Jiraiya before he could even ask what she looked like. 

* * *

Sasuke suddenly found himself in a sunny meadow. Surprised by the change in scenery, he stood there stupidly for a while before realizing he had to look for this Biji or Boju or something person (hamster). Hoping he wouldn't attract as much attention as he would as a human, he walked towards the river flowing by up ahead.

There was a battery placed to bridge the gap halfway across, then a branch to cover the rest of the way. Balancing himself, he clambered onto the battery and then the branch in turn, reaching the other side without harm. Looking to his right, he saw a female hamster wandering off to the right. He was about to call out and stop her when she screamed and scrambled out of the way of an oncoming boulder only to be trapped on the other side. Great. He walked towards it apprehensively. There was no way to get around it, but the stream flowed by next to it. Sasuke contemplated walking around it by the water, but he looked at his hands. He didn't have enough fingers to make a hand sign.

This was going to be a long, long process, he realized. Joy.


	3. Altruist Expedition pt2

I seem to be unable to write long chapters, sorry XD; Anyway, um… You'll find out who the girl is next chapter, though I'm sure it's pretty obvious.

* * *

Giving up on getting around the immediate boulder, Sasuke decided to see if he could walk around to the other side. He also found that if he sacrificed a bit of his dignity he could get around faster on all fours. As silly as he felt, it was much easier this way. He shoved his way through two hamsters that were _clearly _blocking the way past, shouting "Move it!" and laughing sardonically when one of them (he thought it was a male, but he couldn't tell) leapt upon the head of the other(this one's gender was impossible to figure out). Jumping on the logs leading the way up the hill, he finally reached the top clearing. There was a tree stump on the edge of the cliff, and next to it sat someone bawling their eyes out. Completely ignoring the sobbing figure, Sasuke clambered up onto the stump and stared out over the horizon. There was another hill (mountain, more like it, Sasuke thought) aways away, but there was a silhouette jumping up and down.

"_Hey…hoo…!" _it cried, sounding very distant. Sasuke wondered if that was one of the Ham-thingies he was supposed to write down. He took out the book from its hammerspace and scribbled down the word dutifully. (Well, okay, he was chanting _the more I write, the faster I get out of here _over and over under his breath, but regardless.)

"_Hey…!" _the voice called again as Sasuke stepped off the trunk. _"Where…are you…going?"_

Sasuke didn't answer. He was about to pass the crying mess of a hamster when he took a closer look. This one looked like Chouji.

"Chou…ji?" Sasuke said awkwardly, wondering what kind of a name Chouji would have. Said hamster stopped crying long enough to say "It's Oxnard! Oh, I'm so _bluhoo!_" before bursting into tears again. Sasuke(after grumbling and writing down this new word) sighed and walked off again. He also decided not to comment on the broken heart he saw floating above Chouji's head.

* * *

On the other side of the boulder was…another boulder. Sasuke would've torn out his bangs in frustration had a bystander not been there. As it was, the raven-haired boy(hamster, he kept forgetting) glared murderously at said bystander, who took no notice whatsoever.

"Hey, you." He ground out. The hamster looked up.

"Oh. Hello. Are you looking for something?"

"Someone. A girl."

The hamster laughed. "Aren't we all?"

Sasuke stared irritably at him.

"But I digress. It wouldn't happen to be the one who's trapped behind that boulder, would it? Yeah… you could pakapaka all day and get nowhere."

After hastily noting the pakawhatever, Sasuke growled and looked around. There, at a small dock, a boat sat patiently waiting.

Bingo.

Without thinking of the consequences, Sasuke leaped into the toy craft and gnawed the rope holding it to the dock in half. Of course, just his luck, the boat didn't have power; he sailed down the stream with no control. The waterfall was blocked off, and he was going in the opposite direction of it, though, so no worries. The girl, who looked oddly familiar, watched with a horrified expression as he went past, leaving her to burst into tears again. He sighed and rolled his eyes before the boat eased its way to the final stop. Deciding the boat wasn't going anywhere, he stepped off. To his left was _another _hamster, but this one wasn't looking at him. He jabbed it in the waist with his finger, but the hamster took it all in stride and just turned and waved(much to Sasuke's dismay).

"Oh, hi! Um… I don't think I know you. What's your name? Sasuke? Okay, cool. Hey, you see that boat? I think it'd be fun to drive. Don't you? Look's like it's missing something. You'd have to putput something, like a battery."

Sasuke didn't even have a chance to answer before the (one-sided) conversation was over. He logged the Ham-whatever in his book and moved on. As he passed the stream again, though, he noticed something swimming in it. It appeared to be a potty training seat. Sasuke grimaced, but was content to throw rocks at it until a hamster head appeared. It had the strangest bowl cut and big, bushy eyebrows.

_Oh, god._


	4. Realization

Hey guys! Just a quick heads-up; I probably won't update too much over spring break. Skiing kinda gets in the way of writing XD;; Oh, and the funny thing about Seamore is that he actually does have big eyebrows, even without Lee XDD

* * *

The raven-haired hamster felt impending doom looming over him as the figure in the water noticed him. It shook the water out of its perfectly straight bowl-cut hair and grinned blindingly.

"Hello there, youthful citizen! My name is Seamore! Water does not scare me! I love it! It is the essence of YOUTH!"

Sasuke just stared. "Lee?"

"How did you know my middle name? You must be _especially_ youthful! Well done!" The hamster swam to shore and climbed up next to the appalled Sasuke. "But you have great timing! I have to ask of you a favor! There is something stuck to my shell of youth, and it will not come off! So please, offdoff it for me!"

The magic book came out, "offdoff" was written in, and disappeared again in a matter of minutes. "Fine, L- err, Seamore."

One offdoff later and the training seat was in his hands. "Oh! A potty training seat! How unyouthful! But regardless, it is funny. I shall keep it." He stared at Sasuke with his large eyes, creeping him out again.

"Oh! You must be Sasuke! Boss has told me all about you. I hope that we will become youthful friends! Yosh!" He shot Sasuke the infamous Nice Guy pose. (A/N: Seamore actually gives you a peace sign XD)

"I have also opened up a Photography club! Please, do come visit!" He left, leaving Sasuke looking after him. Said raven-haired hamster switched his gaze to the battery. He put two and two together and got four, or at least he realized that he'd need a battery for the boat. He glanced around- nope, no one was around to witness the embarrassing thing he was about to do. Walking up to the battery-cum-bridge, he took a deep breath.

"Off…doff…"

The fancy backflip dance was over and done with shortly, and Sasuke stuffed the battery into its hammerspace. He scampered away from the scene of his crime and stood in front of the boat. Now he looked around again. The crazy hamster had his back turned, so Sasuke hurriedly "_putput'd"_ the battery into the bottom of the boat. Hopping in, he revved up the machine and sped towards the dock on the other side of the river.

Driving smoothly up to the wooden slats, Sasuke hopped off as the girl came running towards him. There were tears in her eyes but she quickly wiped them away.

"I was just thinking I would n-never escape! I—" She stared at him.

"S-S-Sasuke-san?"

"Hinata?"


End file.
